Last Time
by dax-fox
Summary: Alec made a compromise and it is Magnus who must live with the consequences as Alec runs out of time.


Disclaimer: I do not own the Mortal Instruments.

Author's Note: I'm going away so this may very well be the last time a post anything for awhile. So I'll leave this in the meantime and a promise that there are going to be some awesome chapter updates on my other fan fics as soon as I'm back x

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><p><strong>Time is a demon creeping up on man from every angle and yet he does not move. He sits like a lord upon a cloud laughing heartily at the stupidity of mortals as they run round in circles thinking they are moving forward. But they go nowhere. Time is master of all that went on before and all that is yet to occur. All human fate is known to him and he does not care whether it is tragic. It is of no consequence. It happens. That is all. Death to the young as much as it shall come to the old for they all spin in circles and all must fall from the orbit of life. They can try and forget what is inevitable but the power of time lies in their blood and is inescapable.<strong>

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><p>x-0-X-0-x<p>

For weeks it had kept him awake. It always started in the middle of the night. First it would be so quiet that he could barely convince himself that it existed but then the noise would build up, getting louder and louder until it was thumping against his eardrums.

He had told Magnus about it and he had laughed, said it was all in Alec's head. After all, nobody else in the Institute could hear it. Nevertheless, Magnus had offered to let Alec stay over at his apartment so he could get _at least_one good night's sleep; and he needed the rest badly. A tired Shadowhunter could easily become a dead Shadowhunter.

They had nestled up together underneath Magnus's canary yellow sheets. It had taken no time at all for the Warlock to fall in to a deep slumber. At first Alec just lay there, staring up at the ceiling. In his mind he was anticipating the return of the noise. But it didn't come.

_Why should it? I'm in a different room, a different place entirely._

Slowly he managed to calm his mind and eventually with his eyelids feeling so heavy and his breathing growing deeper he gave himself up to the land of dreams. He remained there for what felt like years. What he dreamt of is hard to say but there was darkness and light in that illusory world. It both haunted and gratified him, but then _**it**_ came.

**The tick.**

**The tock.**

The noise had come and his eyes flicked open. He found himself covered in a cold sweat. What he had dreamt became a lost memory, never to be retrieved. It was just him and the invisible clock; always ticking, always there.

He looked at the digital display on Magnus's alarm clock. It was midnight. Of course it was, that's the only time that it ever gets so loud. And it's when he remembers hearing it before, not just at night but throughout every day like a silent pulse that made ripples in the blood through his veins. Like an echo reverberating for all time.

However, during the day he could ignore it but at midnight he could not deny that it was there.

**The tick and the tock.**

Yet there was no such clock anywhere to be seen.

Digital clocks do not tick.

So where did this sound that was always around come from? He asked himself this a thousand times as he sat up in the bed as stiff as stone. It was a foolish question. He already the answer but he dared not speak it.

He began to murmur under his breath like someone possessed, "Tick, tock, tick, tock."

Magnus had been awake since Alec first sat up. He had heard him gasp for breath as if he had just freed himself from the smothering clutches of the sea. And yet, he did not speak and did not move to comfort the boy. He just waited until he could wait no more.

"What do you hear, Alexander?"

The quiet formalness was not lost on Alec. He turned his head slowly and looked down on Magnus with his blue eyes glinting and wide, his hair in disarray. "You know what I hear," he whispered.

"Yes, I do."

_A shared secret._

Magnus reached up his hand to touch Alec's mouth and stroked his face. Alec sank back in to the pillows with a sigh like Magnus had dragged him out of the darkness.

"Forget, please forget," Magnus pleaded and his voice cracked under the weight of his emotion.

"You said it was just in my head."

"And it is. It is my love. Please, can you just forget until the morning?"

"But tomorrow has already come," Alec's voice was so faded that Magnus struggled to hear.

Magnus shut his eyes tight for a minute and then opened them and was almost surprised to see that Alec was still lying there before him. Instinctively they both moved closer and held each other in a tight embrace.

"I know," Magnus whispered.

Finally they both fell back to sleep again for many hours and sunlight spilled through the window and heated their skin. And then it was time to wake up. They said, "Good morning." They acted as they usually did: got dressed, had breakfast; a mundane ritual. Then, Alec looked at the door and Magnus watched him do so in silence. Alec stood up from his chair with a grace Magnus had never seen in him before.

"I have to go," he said.

"I know," said Magnus.

Alec walked slowly towards the door for what seemed like an eternity as Magnus still just sat and watched. When he reached the door Alec put his hands up to feel its surface, the smooth contours of the wood. He pressed his head against it and Magnus thought he might just collapse right there and then. But he didn't.

He half turned around and looked over his shoulder at the old Warlock. There was a lazy smile on his handsome face. "I love you." Magnus nodded slightly, unable to reply.

Alec held is head up high and just breathed. Hearing the air flood in and out of the Shadowhunter's lungs had a soothing effect on Magnus because it made him feel... alive.

It may have been morning but Alec could still hear a clock ticking but the sound was fading and becoming less harsh and pronounced. Eventually the sound of his breathing and the ticking melded until they were one and the same. Finally he felt calmness in his heart and soul.

"Where was it you said I had to go today?" he asked Magnus.

"The park, at 10am."

Alec smiled again but he did not know why, "Thank you." He looked back at the door. "Magnus, somehow I think that one day I will walk out of this door and never come back." His voice was not sad as he spoke, rather, it was filled with wonder; A wonder for the unexpected.

"So do I.," said Magnus. And finally they had spoken of the shared secret they had dared not utter.

Magnus was standing now but there was a table between them; a physical barrier that neither had an urge to bridge because a bigger one was coming that they had to accept. To touch would mean to never let go.

"You could stay," said Magnus, his arm held high, an offer of salvation.

Alec did not speak instead he turned away and opened the door and walked through it. It closed behind him with a gentle click that was the catalyst of the explosion that ran through the Warlock's heart. His arm fell as if it were crumbling to the ground.

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><p><strong><em>A month ago:<em>**

"Alec, what is going on?" Magnus held him up against the door in a savage anger and still Alec avoided his gaze.

"I am sorry."

"Sorry for what? What the hell is going on?" Magnus felt like screaming as he watched the blood drip down Alec's face.

"I made a compromise." Alec looked down at Magnus's fists which were still clenching clumps of his blood soaked shirt. There was no sign that Magnus was going to let go anytime soon.

"They would have taken Isabelle's life. I couldn't let that happen, I'm her big brother,Mmax is already gone, I-" his voice trembled and spluttered.

"What did you promise them?" Magnus demanded.

"My life in exchange."

"You stupid fool, you idiot!" Magnus let him go and Alec slid down to the floor like a rag doll. Tears mingled with the blood as Alec silently sobbed. "Do your family know what you have done?" Magnus added, glaring at Alec.

"No and I don't want them to know either. I've done it now Magnus, there is nothing anybody can do to stop this."

"How long did they give you?"

"A month. They said they didn't want me now, but this time next month I am to go to the park and they will deal with the rest. I know they won't hurt Izzy in the mean time. They'll keep their word."

"Since when were murderers trustworthy?" Magnus spat.

"Shut up Magnus!" The scream halted Magnus in his track and he to slumped to the floor, he did not meet Alec's eyes which seemed even bluer than usual.

"I just don't want to lose you."

"I know," said Alec. It was a simple phrase that would be stuck in Magnus's mind for weeks.

"Is there nothing I can do to make you change your mind, to let me do **something** to stop this?"

"No. It's done."

They both sat there in silence.

Alec felt very tired and eventually he gathered the strength he needed to make one more request. "Magnus, I have one month. I'd like it if it were a happy one so I have one thing to ask of you."

"Anything"

"Make me forget. I can't stand just waiting around for that day to come. Please make me forget."

"You're expecting me to make you forget and then send you to your death in a months' time?" Magnus said, without expression so it sounded as if it were more of a statement.

"I'm sorry, for hurting you so much," Alec began; he could feel his heart getting slower as his blood seeped away.

"I'll do it," Magnus said quietly. "But will you let me heal you for now?"

"Yes."

When Magnus came over and set his hands on either side of Alec's head he stared in to his eyes as if he were lost within them. "I don't know if you will entirely forget, it may be at the back of your mind but you won't be able to see it clearly."

"That will be enough," Alec sighed. "Oh and Magnus?"

"Yes?"

"Good-bye. I don't know if I'll remember to say it properly when the time comes, but I'll say it now. Good-bye, Magnus Bane."

As Magnus began to cast his spell he could almost make out the ticking of a clock that seemed to come from within Alec, and it reminded him of a laugh. The harsh laugh of time as Alec's fate became set in stone.

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><p><strong>Fate was served, the deed done and all of humanity carried on going in circles.<strong>


End file.
